when life happens too fast

my oldest is turning five in a couple of days five today. never mind the husband's birthday that passed a week ago--he's lived a lot already. but the boy? my beautiful-eyed, hard to birth, silly-as-they-come boy? holy bananas, he will be is five. and will start kindergarten in less than a month. and wears the cutest little man's clothes. and has a head full of unruly hair that he refuses to let me chop.
i cry just thinking about this phase of parenthood. where it all starts to feel that they're just slipping out of your grips and be ready to join society.
i don't think i ever wrote his birth story on this blog. i began this blog in '08 but only after he was born. we lived at my parents house because hubby nor i had a job (straight outta college) and we were newly weds (not even a year of marriage, but years of dating). my aunt is a midwife, how cool would it be to birth at home? confession: i dreaded the birth. i was not prepared emotionally or physically for what was to come and I knew it. but contractions just wouldn't stop. and after 26 hours, this beautiful cone headed boy came out. and i was insanely exhausted and sore. holy bananas. i had a baby. i did it. and he was mine.
there's no way i am the same person that i was before he existed. nor do i want to be that person again.

From L to R: Me + new baby, Daddy + baby, my grandmother + baby + my mother, my midwife + mother-in-law + baby

i remember saying that our babies were going to be born hairy and big-headed. and Andrew, you were those. 

you were such a small baby. like me when i was born. you were spoiled rotten by Moomie + Tia Dawna.

you have provided me with countless hours of entertainment. love. and trials. 

we finally moved and had our own two bedroom place. we were poor but happy because of you. 

peek-a-boo, playdates, two-year old potty training (you were incredible!), and nap times all fit in our schedule

a piñata for your birthday and boat rides on lakes with Nana + Papa were main events

and going to support your coach of a daddy on all his football games? was so much fun because you played monkey on those bleachers.

you were always wanting to draw and scribble when mommy was drawing and scribblin' + besos were never in short supply

when you got a new bed, one night you put Ironman and Teddy to bed with a Dr. Seuss book--heart = melted.

these were some of your first scribbles and had lots of playground time just to keep you busy and spend that energy!

i remember when you held still for 5 seconds so i could capture those eyelashes and when you napped with Woody + Bullseye.

and when you begged to be spiderman for halloween or when we rode that thing(?) at Nana + Papa's and I had to push you--boy, you wear me out.

i remember how hard and tough it was when we began pre-kinder homeschool and yet you had a blast building weapons out of anything!

remember that time when you let me take pictures of you and you actually looked into the camera? no? well here's some good ones.

you had to have your own band on our front patio. no lie. you were rockin', dude.

and now you want to leave me and go to school? you're kidding me, right? how many nights I couldn't wait for you to be old enough to be able to go to school just so i could get some of my crap {i.e. art + crafts} done? so i can have some peace and quiet? so i could maintain this house clean for at least 2 hours? and now, i can't bear for you to leave me. you are a mr. independent, i-need-my-lunch-and-my-backpack-ready, and mom-doesn't-even-get-a-goodbye-kiss kid. this is so unfair!
you have been so patient waiting for your birthday to arrive so that we can go to chuck e. cheese's. you cannot wait and you ask daily if it's your birthday yet. your attitude and your actions have been near perfect because you know the consequences if they're not good.
kid, you say the funniest things. i really can't wait to see the great man you grow up to be. i am so proud of you son, you're nothing but my greatest joy. happy birthday.