wonderings

Lately, I've been wanting to write my heart out. I usually find the first notebook I can get my hands on and write. I know that if I saw my ramblings on a page, they would look and feel just like the the ramblings I wrote months ago. I hate this cycle of always feeling happy and then sad. Happy then sad. And it seems hypocritical considering my past post. (Please, I'm a woman and I know how cycles work, yes, the menstrual kinds too). I know, they're at work right now. 

Anyway, today, on behalf of my almost 300th post {or maybe 300th post?!}, I kinda wanted to just show you images of what has been making my heart happy. And try to express myself with these words. I can't ever seem to do so properly, and I feel it's because of my vocabulary (I'm pulling out the Mexican card right now, too) and I guess I am a person who likes to visually speak. I am a visual person. And that's as far as I'm ever going to get if I want to stay sane. Here's an attempt at it, anyway.

 Lately, when I know I am getting one of those low feelings, my inner conversations are self-doubting and overwhelming ones, and then the stress piles on. But I remember the one thing I must do if I want to survive the day: change my attitude.

 I am one of those people that thrives in misery. I choose to be angry because it's the easier road for me. 

I have to consciously choose to change my attitude daily and let the bad stuff roll off my shoulders, otherwise I'll be the bitch no one wants to hang around with. 

Also, praying for grace helps a lot. And taking a 10 second breather if kids are involved helps too.

Those things save me, each and every day. 

 I think my biggest feat lately has been trying to figure out which direction I'm heading. I've spoken about this before, but no matter how much I make lists, how much I pray about it, how many times I've thought about it, I still can't figure out which path I need to take. I feel like Alice in Wonderland. 

And when I watched the cartoon the other day, I felt even more confused when Alice encountered the Chesire cat:

Alice: Oh, no, no. I was just wondering if you could help me find my way. 
Cheshire Cat: Well that depends on where you want to get to. 
Alice: Oh, it really doesn't matter, as long as... 
Cheshire Cat: Then it really doesn't matter which way you go. 

So, which way do I go? Does it really matter? I've already finished school. I'm a full-time mom, wife, teacher, chef, cleaning lady, and chauffeur. It feels like I never get an hour to myself. If I ever do, I feel like a chicken with its head cut off. Like Alice. Desperately seeking the right path.

I have been wishing for a mentor. Somebody twice my age who will take me under their wing. Show me, teach me, guide me through this thing I'm living. Somebody who won't baby me. Kinda like Master Shifu from Kung Fu Panda. A mentor who won't hold my hand, but instead show me tough love. 

I had plenty of mentors when I was younger and still in school. Unfortunately, when you're young and reckless, you don't listen to anything they say. Now, it's all I crave, their teachings and friendship. 

I miss that. I need that.

The coach voice, you know, the one that screams at you when you're not bending down far enough or keeping your back straight. I need that encouragement. The slap in the butt. Or a kick in the head. 

Maybe even a kickboxing class. Does it sound like I have anger issues, now? ...maybe...just a bit...

At the moment, I know what makes me happy. I think that should be my focus. Happiness. My path. 

It's what I seek every day. Otherwise I'd be done for. 

Isn't that what everybody should be doing anyway? Be happy? 

Do you like my selfie? Can't decide whether color or bnw looked best, so your get both.

I recenly read this blog post from Design Mom who has a series called Living with Kids. 

She featured Laura Tremaine from Hollywood Housewife. The feature shows the inside of these people's houses, and talks about living with kids. Here's a part of the article that totally grabbed my attention:

Q: Please finish the sentence: I wish someone had told me…
A: …to start writing and creating when I was much younger. I had a grand ole time in my twenties, but I should have been selfish in a different way. I didn't truly start down a creative path until I was already in the thick of motherhood, so my attention is now forever divided. Better late than never, though! My life mantra is Start Where You Are.

Here's the black n white one...

So let's recap. Start where I am at. Seek happiness daily. Be slow to anger. Befriend a mentor.

Have a great day.

Us-Made

This week has been great. I love this feeling of this goodness. In fact, when I talk on the phone with my relatives I've got nothing to say or whine about it's all going so great. Makes me feel like something big and horrible is liable to come up, because you know how you have to have your turn every once in a while...

But for right now, my little family is awesome. The boys and I have a routine. That's how my days go faster, and how discipline is learned. The weather is great--I am loving this weather and I'm so grateful for it because come July & August, I WILL NOT be this happy!  

School for Andrew is also great, even the little one is learning from just being around us while doing school! It's amazing and surprising to hear him say his letters and know all of his shapes/colors without me even teaching him one-on-one. I tell ya, life's pretty sweet right now :) My tank is full. Thank you, God.

My allergies have been killing me though...that's about as sick as this family gets---UGH allergies! 

But you wouldn't even believe what made my day the other day---my Calla Lilies came up!!! 

These are SO special to me because they were Mother's Day / Anniversary gifts from my amazing husband and they ended up dying when we moved to this place last summer (shown below, top right).

Anyway, I was EVER so excited and EVER so frickin' excited because I just knew they were coming back {I apparently don't know anything about flowers} and guess what, they did! I don't know if you've ever grown anything, but it's pretty rewarding to know things grow out of the ground that were planted by your hand. At least it is to me. 

My poor little garden though, it has rained and been really cold down here in the coast of this great state, and the combination of too much water / not enough sun is not a good thing on this raised little garden :( we will see what comes out of it. Every morning, I peek out the window to see how my little garden is doing...kinda like I peek in the boys room to see how they're laying in their beds...just to make sure they're ok. 

The garden and my potted flowers are like my fourth child {third child are my 2 cats, HA!}...I love them to death and it makes me sad they're not getting enough sunlight!  

You wanna know what's been going on around this house this past week?? Paper. 

And lots of it. The Mr. has totally taken on this hobby and I could NOT BE more prouder, if not the proudest, wife of a paper maker. I love that he gets artsy like that!!! 

But you know what I'm not a fan of? 

the lack of space in this tiny 2 / 2 house. Seriously, this kitchen / dining area is as big as a big city apartment. The Mr. has to take his assembly line outside in our garden-crowded back patio! For goodness sakes, we need a somethin' to remedy this...because I can't take it anymore. I might have to research shops / sheds to use as studio space around here! 

So the Mr. makes paper, and I make art ON the paper. Ohh, his stacks of paper are so nice. He keeps getting better and better at it...it's a craft. I am doing a little stamp carving / lithography on the side too.

And I'm stepping back into serigrafia {screen-printing} again, after about 6 years...I seriously love it. 

My dad used to have a business in it, I went to Art Camp for it, I worked at a shop that did it...I mean, it's always been part of me and I LOVE IT. I think it's my favorite medium :) 

My etsy store would fill up faster though if I could just sit down and actually work!!! Two little {homeschooled} boys + meals + house maintenance + hungry husband really take up all my time! 

This is actually my first screen print since 2005 :) + I printed on home-made paper.

AND I'm listing it on my etsy soon

{thinking about doing a giveaway of the image below, but would like input on it first, so let me know!!!}

Also crafty me has been doing all this below: PHOTO PROPS

again, for my cousin's wedding a couple of weekends ago!

This flower head crown thingy is still my favorite! I invented the finger uni-brow and posted it on 

my Instagram @sanlynet {psst, follow me}

And I keep saying to myself how I don't need to snap any more pictures of them doing school, because I just don't want to overwhelm you with those kinds of pictures, but I think the concentration on their faces, the way their eyes just focus, is so incredible to me. I was once 4, I once sat in a chair and had to do the same things. I don't have pictures of that. I don't remember those times. 

But I wish I could. So here, Andrew and Jonah. Have some photographic memories. 

You were amazing little boys. And I am glad I took your pictures. 

Sun light + cat hair + school work + little toes + coffee = it is the life! 

You guys! Thanks for sticking round til the end! I love yall and want to wish you all a happy weekend! 

weekly wrap-up

► Had to leave our kitties alone for 3 days to go to a cousin's wedding

► Andrew's been drawing and drawing like a mad-man inventing stories and 'writing' them down

► Our garden is growing {we purchased a garden raised bed kit at our local hardware store}

► My sister is about 18 wks pregnant, and she loves Hydrangeas--so I got her one to commemorate her first pregnancy.

► Our annual Easter egg hunt in the dark was a total success {the groom's family/friends joined in too!}

► Confetti in our hair, on the floor, and even our underwear. Someone said it looked like they made out with the Easter Bunny! 

► Wedding was a blast! I wore 5 in heels for the first time and OUCH. 

► Our trip was a little long -- a total of 7 hours each way -- thankfully we split it up a bit. 

► During our lunch, Jonah is such a cheery little guy. We luv him.

► Blowing Bubbles outside :)

► This little guy was fierce! Our kitty has taken on lizard hunts and this one got away from her inside our house! His tail was torn off poor guy, but we caught it two days later and released it outside.

Have a great weekend! 

Houston Zoo during Spring Break

Houston Zoo during Spring Break might have not been the BEST idea, but, at least the kids enjoyed it.

I planned on bringing my sketchbook and handing the camera to Gary. I told him he was in charge of the pictures and the kids...{hehehe} so that I could sketch out some animals {something I love doing!}

But that didn't fare too well with a massive crowd gathered at the zoo. 

BUT first, because it was Thursday, we had to stop at a Buffalo Wild Wings for some wings!!!

Then came the game of "find a parking spot!" and then walk a mile to the actual zoo. 

It was good exercise! 

And we were thankful we didn't bring our wagon or stroller {on forgetful accident of course} because people could barely get around at the zoo because of the crowd. Who needs them anyway?!

The silliest animal award goes to: Jonathan the Lion.

And this was the only page that came out of me sketching at the zoo. 

A full day, ended with a super spicy meal at my sister-in-law's house. Oh goodness, we were tired!