fighting the lazy

ah, you guys. there has been nothing else but pure guilt for me in this house lately. everywhere i turn, there is something to clean. dust bunnies. broken toys. legos. cat hair. seat cushion on the floor. shoes. everything is a bitter reminder of how much i don't wanna do. i feel like i have this blanket on me, and if you're mexican, those 5 blankets you use during the winter because you don't have central heating, and you can't even turn yourself in bed because it's so heavy. every day. every moment. i feel like i'm failing. like i can't get over this physical laziness. and i refuse to use the word tired because that's just cliche. in our world, you are either super busy or tired. but i am not busy nor tired. i am just....lazy? quick! someone come kick me in the pants.

is it because it's summer and you're supposed to be lazy in the summer? is it psychological like that? is it this beautiful humid heat that's wearing me down? maybe it's because we are lacking a serious schedule. but my body is not responding like i want it to and it's driving me nuts.

at service yesterday, they spoke about how summer is for breaks. how every week you are to take the Sabbath. to rest, be still. i feel like every day is my Sabbath. and it is making me sick. too much Sabbath! too much! my body is at rest, but my mind is not. honestly, i don't know how to mind-rest. 

and if you have ever met my mother, she is not a stop-for-a-break type of person. she is a go-go-go-GO! person. Mom! you're putting way too much pressure on me--quit it! ....i half-kid.

i implemented a no-tv rule in the New Witty household and it worked. for about 4 days. then the urge to take a nap was just way too much and the tv turned into my babysitter for 2 hours. award for best mom does not go to me for obvious reasons.

the husband helps though. he has been wonderful with chores since he is on summer break from teaching. but still, it's those baseboards that are covered in crusty old food, the stupid cats that track litter all over the place, and the dust that's collecting everywhere that drives me most bonkers. i recently convinced the boys to clean the baseboards in their room for icecream. again, no awards here.

am i turning into a lazy a-hole or am i just surviving this role in my pathetic life now? i know, i know...i'm not starting any pity parties. although i love those, they don't do anyone any good.

it's weird how one goes through different moods through the seasons...in summer? oh summer. i really have a love/hate relationship with you. i won't get into it here 'cause it gets ugly, but you know....oh you know. 

my garden won't produce. my plants are all dead and wimpy looking....toads have taken residence in them and that does not cheer my heart up one bit in the mornings. there's two toads in my 6" dyanthus in the photo below. before i grabbed my camera, there were three. i threw those suckers over my fence. can you guess how high can a toad can fly?

this pile of papers just keeps growing on my desk and i have no plans to sort it out any time soon. right now, as long as my babies are fed, my husband is satisfied, everybody is smiling, and we do things together as a family, then my heart will be content. because i have so much to be thankful for.

it's just a different story inside my mind. :) i hope your week has been going better than mine, have a great one!