They were so perfect and tiny. I was so sore and exhausted. I was swollen, I was in pain, I had doctor visits, and nerves and anxiety about my milk supply. I remember having a bit of resentment towards the boys because my body felt like it was damaged...why would they do this to me? Would it even go back to 'normal'?
...no, is the answer to that question...thanks Universe.
but. I remember basking in the overflowing thoughts that we had created this tiny little human, how hairy and adorable and weird looking he was all at the same time. How I wish time had frozen so I could just stare at him for hours...days.
And now, I am at it again. It's been three and a half years since I last experienced these feelings...so I hope to indulge in them again. To just feel the magnitude of motherhood. The completion of my family. You know, the ooey gooey love feelings you get when you first have your newborn in your arms?
So I decided to remember the boys birthdays on here. To let them know they were just as special on the day they were born as this little bean will be when she finally arrives.
:: Andrew ::
August 7th, 2008 || 10:44 pm || 6 lbs. 10 oz. || 19 3/4 in. long || Birthed at home
The day you were born was a Thursday. I had been laboring part of Wednesday and Thursday all day. It was getting really late. It was such a long labor! Daddy, Moomie, Granpops, Betsy, Nana, Papa, Dawna, James Ross, Caren, & Wita were all present to welcome you in their arms. You had a ginormous cone-shaped head, but oh such a beautiful little boy you were! Your cries were heard and they were the sweetest sounds. Hearts were melted. Happy tears were shed. And I...I just wanted to sleep! Moomie watched over you that night because Daddy and I felt like jingle bells after a Christmas concert -- all beat up and worn out! You were the first grand-child on your mom's side, and the third grandchild on your dad's side.
:: Jonah ::
July 4th, 2010 || 10:50 am || 8 lbs. 12 oz. || 20 in. long || Birthed at home
You were born on a Sunday. I had started labor the night before and hardly slept at all. My contractions with you were completely different than with your brother's. Oh, I begged the moon and the stars to not let you be an Independence Day baby! And guess what? the Universe went ahead and let me know they make the rules, not I. Daddy, Moomie, Betsy, Dawna & Andrew were there when you were born. When you were born, there were some difficulties but you were perfectly chunky, beautiful, and quiet. Not a peep. Not a cry. Just this big, calm, squishy baby. You were taken to mend your broken arm at a nearby hospital, and I met up with you a bit later after my clean-up. Your arm was tucked to your side with an ace bandage for almost 4 weeks. Even though you were born at home, you lived your first hours at a hospital. It was heaven when we finally brought you back home because it was as if you had belonged there the entire time.
I love you boys.
I have also been looking up ways on how to make the boys feel like part of this big event. You know, something that they actually enjoy and not just an exhausted mommy and a crying baby? They're still little so I'm not quite sure what their concept of birth is. Or if they'll understand that the baby is no longer inside my tummy. I'm not even sure they'll like the baby...
But I've found a couple of things that I would love to gift them when the baby finally arrives:
- a disposable camera to take their own pictures of the baby
- a Lego book with a ton of stickers (you can never lose with Lego's + boys)
- a medicine or doctor kit to make their own inspection of the baby
I would love it if you could please pray over my family, our trip to and fro, and the birth and health of this baby.